We all have dreams. I have them. Some are bigger than others. Others as simple as the next meal. One of the things I wish I would have done while we were in Africa is get to know our kids. I never asked them what there favorite color was, or what they wanted to do when they finished school. Now that it think about it I didn't really do much. I baked, helped cook, did the Saturday mandatory cleaning, and read. I wasn't all that close to God, my family, or our other kids. I look back on it more is see myself doing nothing. I read books and felt sorry for myself. Sorry that I could have been going to middle school, could have had a semi normal life, but then again how normal can you get with so many siblings? I think about it and realized how much more I could have done. I read peoples blogs on how they "change the world". I envy them. I had the chance but it doesn't feel like I did anything. I thought well I guess I'm here...is this really making a difference? I thought yes. I thought being the difference was just going. Not doing. I find myself dreaming of going back. Doing those thing that I wish I would have done. I want to be the difference but how? I'm 11, turning 12 in like 2 months. I want to make a difference with my writing but doubts and 'ifs' are running through my brain.
What if people don't take me seriously because I'm still a kid?
How can people take me serious?
I ask myself this practically demanding answers and god just says "TRUST ME..." I guess I'm scared. scared of people thinking "shes crazy" or like "OH yea she went to Africa blah, blah, blah." I remind myself that life isn't a popularity contest, but I still ask myself what if... I don't want to look back on my life and say "what if". I want to say, "oh yea I did..."
-Lu
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